(South) Park City

First one on one of the week goes to Rachel. Full disclosure, I picked her as my dark horse after episode one. In previous seasons, I maybe would write at this point that I have to continue to “ride the horse I came in on,” but I’m not going to do that because I’m more mature than that now. The date was very awkward. My thought is that Rachel has been able to have an enjoyable social life with men in the past by smiling and wearing white t-shirts. Not a terrible strategy. However, it may have stunted her emotional-verbal connection skills due to how some men would stereotype her. She tried to open up emotionally at the end of the date. I think Ben saw sincerity and potential and kept her around. It’s not starting out strong between these two, but occasionally, Zenyatta comes from behind and wins.

Group date includes Ben taking his ladies on a fishing excursion. We learn the lesson that if you give Courtney a fish, she will be a witch for a day, and if you teach her to fish, she will be a witch for a lifetime.

Sorry Samantha “I feel like I should already have a ring on my finger” Sash. That line might work at the country club if you’re looking for men 40 years older than you, but the hard sell begging for a one-on-one isn’t gonna work here. There are a few things that can come out of confrontation. If you bring it with an open mind to the response, at an appropriate time, and with respect for the other person, it can be a GREAT thing. It’s hard to turn something that’s bothering you into an opportunity for reconciliation and growth without addressing it. However, if you bring it in an attacking style, you might cause more harm than good. The good stuff happens when the “fight” or “flight” walls come down. The wrong approach with the confrontation can lead to a trip to the diaries of the departed.

Jennifer and Ben are “couple-ey” to me. That bodes well for her in this quest. She does not struggle sharing her feelings with him. A “normal” accusation from Courtney also bodes well for her qualities as a human if that’s the worst one can come up with.

I rewound (“rewinded” sounds more natural, but I think it’s wrong) a bunch of times to hear PHD Emily’s tongue-lashing of Courtney. I heard “vegan rod doe-eyed model.” The “rod” doesn’t make sense, so if anyone got another word out of that, please email me.

I’m glad ABC put one of America’s great story-tellers (a.k.a. country music singers) on in Mr. Clay Walker. Was hoping to hear this one, but the song probably wouldn’t have fit the moment.

Casey S thinks Courtney is “one of the most genuine people here.” Now we know why we haven’t had anyone ask her to read any words in the first three episodes. Blonde on the outside … blonde on the inside. I stereotype her as the mean girl tag-along who flips her hair and Paris Hilton laughs after the “popular in a hated kind of way” girl in high school spews something venomous.

“I’m a nice person; don’t F$%# with me!” is on the Bachelor quote board wall of fame / shame. Congratulations, Courtney. You are finally “winning.”

Emily picked a fight I think she will wish she didn’t. In the end, Courtney will be gone, but Emily very possibly will be dragged out with her.

Sad to see Monica go. She performed a 180 on the likability scale from week 1, which was a good thing.

Next week is time to head to Puerto Rico. Woohoo! Casey S has always wanted to go to, like, Asia?

San Francisco Treats

Hi friends – OK, I took a week off. In a situation such as this, one can A) invent some excuses, B) defiantly defend myself, or C) avoid the elephant in the room and continue on as if nothing happened. Which one am I picking? Those of you who went with C? Ding ding ding!

Week 3 included Ben having brunch with his sister, Julia (Gulia). He described Courtney as “super-mellow, down to earth, and drama free.” They must have edited out his other tidbits of wisdom regarding his desire to head to Iran for their next date locale, the case for Donovan McNabb for 2011 NFL MVP, and Ragu spaghetti sauce over Prego. I take offense to the “Jennifer… she’s an accountant, BUT she’s super attractive.” What the H, man?! Pretty people like numbers too. Do I have to formulate a Super PAC on this?

Emily and Ben climb the Bay Bridge on their date. Postulate of Face Fear + Together = Unbreakable Bond has been served up for us. Relationship seekers everywhere are signing up for community education public speaking classes and Sleeping with Snakes and Strangers Clubs (they must exist). Emily gets the rose, and our postulate officially becomes a theorem. Who says you never use geometry in real life?

Next we have group date bikini skiing in San Francisco. Awe-summm. I swear these producers just play dirty magnetic fridge word games all day to come up with these date ideas. Oh, sorry, I mean Ben goes to great lengths to plan specific dates with meaning for the specific young woman (women) included.

I feel a little used with the “leap list” phenomena. It’s a plug for Honda. That’s their marketing campaign. Maybe this is news only to me, but I don’t like feeling used.

Brittney isn’t excited about the date and turns it down. When I was little (and even so to a lesser extent now), it was a big deal to me when I heard of someone breaking up WHO was the dumper and who was the dumpee. In general, the dumper gets the blame and the dumpee gets the sympathy. That has definitely changed some. Endings, whether they are after one drink or one decade, can be messy and confusing and complicated. Sometimes your new ex gives you an incredible gift by letting you go when they do. Sometimes it takes us until we find the next, or the last, until we realize it, but the sympathy/support for the dumper / dumpee needs to be evaluated on a case by case basis, and sometimes both ended up doing the right thing.

Lindzi gets Brittney’s one-on-one date leftover. This bothers her 0%.

Kacie B steals Ben away to tell him how hard it is to see him kissing and making connections with other girls. Ben shares with Kacie B that she has to remember what they have and locks lips with her in a “hey babe, I’m invincible” way. This, of course, works. From a lasting relationship skills-building standpoint, this encounter … fails to register on our scale.

Random question: Cloud nine is a popular place. Is there anybody on clouds one through eight?

I don’t care for the “you’re so cool, why are you still single?” question that Ben gave to Lindzi. I get it, it crosses people’s minds. It’s also not a completely unacceptable thing to say. However, singleness is not a disease that needs to be cured, and that’s what the question implies. I am intrigued by people who “can” and “don’t.” The guy who hasn’t been looked at by a woman in 20 years bragging about never cheating on his wife … cool, but not that impressive. The woman who gets asked out by Mr. Sleezies and would rather be patient and find someone she has feelings for, much more impressed.

Ben tells Jennifer that she is the best kisser. If Ben is sitting next to his betrothed watching this show, I imagine him receiving a significant but below domestic level of a pillow beating. Same thought occurs during every Courtney segment.

Shawntel comes back to win miss congeniality … kidding. She wants Ben. Ben is flattered. Ben is a boy. Thus, often stupid. However, not … this … stupid. Had he kept her around, every other girl there would have been Ben buzz killed. Men aren’t immune from playing the “stupid card” to our benefit; however, we usually know when and where that card is not going to be accepted. Good work, sir.