In the spirit of Jim Nantz, Hello Friends...
Initial Musings: I kind of wish I lived next door to Gia's family for four reasons: I could finally play 80s movie good guy to 80s movie d-bag that is Gia's brother; Gia's mom could read my future through her tarot cards; I could play Teller to Gia's stepdad Penn, and I could do some birdwatching every time Gia came home, a la George McFly in back to the future.
I loved the trip to Williamstown, Mass to meet Ali's family (I like riding through the Mass countryside). At first I thought it was weird that we didn't meet her dad, but after I saw Ali's sister and brother, I understood: ABC couldn't track down Williamstown's milkman from 1985. That is what is referred to as a genetic outlier.
Tenley's family seems like a pretty nice family, and I wonder if her sister is single. My favorite part of the Tenley home visit was when her dad invited Jake upstairs to talk, carrying his glass of wine in the process. Was he trying to bone him or talk to him? Cover that glass of wine, Jake... I did, however, think her parents were the most sincere.
I found myself rooting for the alligators as Vienna walked across the wooden dock/catwalk as she strolled to meet Jake. Alligators make wonderful shoes and suitcases, but also wonderful problem solvers. I wondered why everyone in Vienna's family was crying, but then I remembered that they were sad because Vienna came home.
And seriously, what is with the tough-guy routine by the brothers/dads in this episode. First, Gia's brother couldn't take down Angela Lansbury (this link has no significance; I just really thing A.L. is hot). And Vienna's dad, literally and figuratively taking Jake to the woodshed, tried to play as tough as he could. I feel the tough dad routine is for those who are concerned they haven't raised their kids well enough where they can make good decisions on their own. True story: I was talking to this very attractive girl one time and she was bragging to me how much her dad loved her, and he would tell all her gentleman-suitors that if his daughter wasn't home by 11:00, he had a gun and a shovel, and he wasn't afraid to use them. I, for the life of me, cannot figure out why you would bury a gun just because your daughter got home late...
Dismissal: Poor Ali. She has to choose between the work of an account executive and the lust of her life, all the while trying to figure out how to stop talking like a four year old. Whenever I forget how to use my words, I just make the hand gestures of a toddler. I think Ali is only 25, and if she really cared for Jake that much, I am pretty sure she could find suitable work at some point in the future. Then again, unemployment is a little higher than we'd all like to see. It would be different if she was 26, because as we all know, if you have found someone by that age, might as well give up... I hated to see Ali leave, but I love to watch her go...
Soon to be Dismissed: Jake. I've had my fill of this slack-jawed yokel. Maybe Jake's best match is Gia's brother. Eric's d-bagginess is on the surface, whereas Jake's is a bit more hidden, and I think that they were meant to be together. Plus, it kind of bothers me that Jake is all muscular but I don't believe he has the motor skills to throw a football or catch anything other than an STD. I also didn't like how he wasn't completely honest with Ali. He told her she wasn't on the line "tonight," but stopped short of giving any indication of how he felt about her the rest of the show. I think he has narrowed down his choice between Vienna and Tenley, and if that is true, he should have just let Ali have a clean break from the show.
Until next time,
Chuck Woolery
2/11/2010
2/08/2010
J-Woww!
Wait a second, Jake's not dating anybody named J-Woww?! Yes, but the chick is cool. She claimed in one episode of Jersey Shore that "I have a bad habit of playing little emotional games with men. When they date me, it's cool in the beginning, we do our thing in the first month, and then I take them on a roller coaster ride to hell." Probably pretty true, but definitely funny. I would give major props to somebody who put this as their email signoff quote. (And no, I didn't know what "props" exactly stood for either.)
J-Woww also serves as a good reminder to me of how not to take a reality show too seriously. The Situation and Co. may be a distant illegitimate step-cousin of the virtuous, classy, and real Bachelor, but relatives are relatives.
Enough jibber-jabber, it's Showtime! I warned you and me, but now I'll go back to doing what I do, instead of what I say: making wide-sweeping universal statements and conclusions! It's getting to the point of the season where the serious dial gets turned up.
Reverse order tonight:
Vienna - I think there is another side to honesty when it isn't a good thing. Sometimes, people say, "I'm just being honest," when instead they are just being mean, jealous, or showing poor judgment. With Vienna, I would argue her "honesty" is often a case of lacking maturity or tact. That's why the girls didn't like her - not because she was seen as a threat. She's extremely close to her dad, yet he didn't know her ex-husband before she married him?! There are bad decisions, and then there are bad decisions. (Ouch, that was too soon.) Eloping with a stranger at 18 qualifies.
Tenley - the ex played a big role in Tenley's time tonight. I think people forget that you marry the family sometimes. Not only does Tenley have to get over him, but the rest of her family does too - especially mom and dad. We can tell her: "he cheated on you; he's a loser." However, an old saying is that it takes you twice as long to fall out of love as it does to fall in it. I don't know claim that's necessarily true, but the fall "out" part isn't always better or quicker because you have an obvious reason. Her family impressed me a lot, and I think Jake loved being asked by papa about respect and virtue. He sees himself as being strong in those areas, so what may seem like grilling was very welcomed by him.
Ali - Her grandma obviously played a big role in her life. It was a softer side that doesn't always come out with her. For some reason that brief mention of death and the finality of family-forming through marriage made me go, Woh. The answer to "can a guy fear commitment through the television?" is yes. It was a hard call with the work situation. She was looking for a YES!, and he gave her a yes. Although Ali made me thumper, I don't think her and Jake were the best match in the world. Probably for the best, even though we may see some more of her in the episodes to come.
Gia - the most reserved of the remaining crew, but I don't think that means she's any less into it. High walls can be worth climbing! Gia focuses a lot on being "special" in Jake's eyes. I'm cool with that. The half-brother's tough guy routine was a little odd. I think Jake was thrown off with the closing credits Mom-card-reading show, too. My dad's a big "don't let the sun go down on your anger" guy, so I liked hearing that from Jake. I don't find that guilt-inducing tactic (holding frustrations back) as very healthy. It may give you the upper-hand, but what does the upper-hand mean in something going nowhere? Part of the journey in building something good is figuring out ways to bring each other back from an unhappy spot.
Let's go the the Carribbean, mon. (Believe it or not, I think my brother sings that song better.)
J-Woww also serves as a good reminder to me of how not to take a reality show too seriously. The Situation and Co. may be a distant illegitimate step-cousin of the virtuous, classy, and real Bachelor, but relatives are relatives.
Enough jibber-jabber, it's Showtime! I warned you and me, but now I'll go back to doing what I do, instead of what I say: making wide-sweeping universal statements and conclusions! It's getting to the point of the season where the serious dial gets turned up.
Reverse order tonight:
Vienna - I think there is another side to honesty when it isn't a good thing. Sometimes, people say, "I'm just being honest," when instead they are just being mean, jealous, or showing poor judgment. With Vienna, I would argue her "honesty" is often a case of lacking maturity or tact. That's why the girls didn't like her - not because she was seen as a threat. She's extremely close to her dad, yet he didn't know her ex-husband before she married him?! There are bad decisions, and then there are bad decisions. (Ouch, that was too soon.) Eloping with a stranger at 18 qualifies.
Tenley - the ex played a big role in Tenley's time tonight. I think people forget that you marry the family sometimes. Not only does Tenley have to get over him, but the rest of her family does too - especially mom and dad. We can tell her: "he cheated on you; he's a loser." However, an old saying is that it takes you twice as long to fall out of love as it does to fall in it. I don't know claim that's necessarily true, but the fall "out" part isn't always better or quicker because you have an obvious reason. Her family impressed me a lot, and I think Jake loved being asked by papa about respect and virtue. He sees himself as being strong in those areas, so what may seem like grilling was very welcomed by him.
Ali - Her grandma obviously played a big role in her life. It was a softer side that doesn't always come out with her. For some reason that brief mention of death and the finality of family-forming through marriage made me go, Woh. The answer to "can a guy fear commitment through the television?" is yes. It was a hard call with the work situation. She was looking for a YES!, and he gave her a yes. Although Ali made me thumper, I don't think her and Jake were the best match in the world. Probably for the best, even though we may see some more of her in the episodes to come.
Gia - the most reserved of the remaining crew, but I don't think that means she's any less into it. High walls can be worth climbing! Gia focuses a lot on being "special" in Jake's eyes. I'm cool with that. The half-brother's tough guy routine was a little odd. I think Jake was thrown off with the closing credits Mom-card-reading show, too. My dad's a big "don't let the sun go down on your anger" guy, so I liked hearing that from Jake. I don't find that guilt-inducing tactic (holding frustrations back) as very healthy. It may give you the upper-hand, but what does the upper-hand mean in something going nowhere? Part of the journey in building something good is figuring out ways to bring each other back from an unhappy spot.
Let's go the the Carribbean, mon. (Believe it or not, I think my brother sings that song better.)
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