A Man's Perspective - Week 5

A few random thoughts from week 5 or as I like to call it, "The Ménage à trois episode".

- The 2 on 1 episode! This is always the big shakeup episode of the Bachelor pool and week 5 was no exception as 7 pool participants selected Ashley S as one of their top 3 girls. Anyone notice that this episode always happens when there are 3 to 5 girls that are obviously going home? Instead of making the episode predictable, ABC shakes things up and picks 2 girls from the top 7 to participate in the 2 on 1 episode. Brilliant!
- Warning - The week after the 2 on 1 episode is always...BORING.
- I always wonder how the girls are picked for the 2 on 1. No way Brad voluntarily picked them. Was he given a list of the top 7 by ABC and told to pick 2? If so, was Brad confused by having two girls with the same name and thought it would be easier to have only one Ashley left? I personally think the Elvis show requested two petite women and the Ashley's were the only two that fit the criteria.
- Do all of the group dates end up at the pool?
- Britt is a "Food Writer"? I thought she was a chef?
- Did someone say it is cocktail hour? Jaime time!! "Loyalty is not to any of the girls. It is to the mission. The mission to find your wife." Amen brother.

Week 5 Quote of the Week

"There are some girls where I have pretty strong feelings for and then there are girls that I'm questioning those relationships, so…I'm going to spend a week in Vegas to try to figure it out." Ahhh...okay. Relationships should not be in the same sentence as Vegas...Ever.

Advice for the Bachelorettes

Shawntel - This was a lesson for all of the women out there trying to impress a guy. Shawntel bought a lot of stuff without looking materialistic. That's very difficult to do and really cool. Not sure what Brad is looking for, but I personally really like Shawntel's style. She is elegant, yet she is wearing flip flops for the evening dinner. I like it. So, the question all of you have been asking, does A Man's Perspective approve of the dinner conversation. Yes. Too much talking about your job is a no no, but you can't not talk about your job. It tells a guy about your interests (however bizarre they are) and it is something that you are going to have to talk about at some point. The key is to not seem like your job is your life and to be light hearted about the conversation. Plus, it doesn't hurt that Shawntel is attractive and personable. The best part about Shawntel is that she has a captivating smile and she makes him laugh. At the end of the date, Brad says "I don't know, I just have fun with her." Ladies - If you can get a guy to continually say that, you will earn date #2, an exclusive relationship and eventually a ring. I think Shawntel is the front runner.

Emily - So Shawntel arrives with her 37 bags from her shopping spree and all the girls are showing off their best fake jealous smiles, except for Emily. I think she genuinely looked happy for her. Then on her date, she's traumatized but she doesn't use her emotions to try to bring Brad closer. In fact, she does everything she possibly can to avoid the drama and to hide her emotions for the late Ricky Bobby because she doesn't want to ruin the fun for everyone else. This girl is really nice. Maybe too nice. My only question for Emily - Why are you wearing rings on the fourth finger of your left hand?

Ashley H - You didn't impress me on your date. You were nervous. You lacked confidence and then Brad sent Ashley S home. Your mood entirely changed when Brad came back. There was confidence that hasn't been there the last 3 weeks. Confidence is attractive.

Chantal - You were so calm and collected the first few weeks and now you are a basket case. I don't think Chantal actually meant she loved Brad when the "L-Word" came out. Saying, I love that about you isn't a big deal. I think the worst thing Chantal did is she hesitated and then when put on the spot by Brad, tried to act like she did "love" Brad. Bad move. The Love comment shouldn't come out until the last two episodes. Enough with the love talk, let's talk about that rose ceremony dress. Was it ugly? Yes, but it showed off two of your best assets. But here is the thing, this is a dress that gets a guys attention if you are not dating him and you are trying to pick him up at the bar. Perhaps it is okay for date #2 or date #3. After that, men would rather you keep that dress in the closet.

Michelle - You don't have any chemistry with Brad. The kiss when you don't know what to say, is not a connection. Connections are made through words and feelings, not through kissing when you draw a blank. I agree with the Bach Blogger's conspiracy theory. I'm thinking that Michelle is an actress that ABC hired to boost ratings.

A few words for our parting Bachelorettes

Lisa M - I really liked you. Natural beauty, sweet girl, but there was no way you were going to be the last girl standing. The shy girl is never going to win the final rose. So why did ABC pick Lisa for the show? They typecast. There always has to be the shy girl that likes the Bachelor, is a shoulder to cry on for the drama queens and has the classic "regret" parting interview. I predict that Lisa will be engaged by the reunion episode.

Marissa - From my experience, doing anything unusual during the cocktail hour is a sure sign of desperation. When Brad said, "That is so sweet", his tone sounded like he felt guilty. "I know I have so much to give. All it takes is to find someone who is willing to accept that" Well said. Most confident departure yet.

Ashley S - This exit interview was tough to take. "What didn't he see in me? Finding love is really important to me." A word of advice that should have came from Dr. Drew, but is now coming from A Man's Perspective. When you stop trying to replace your dad and instead focus on gaining confidence in yourself, you will get what you are looking for. Your own confidence and satisfaction should never come from one person's love for you.

Vegas Baby

Sin City! Or, some might say, the city equivalent of Michelle’s soul mate.

That suite was ridiculous. I’d turn down the date card and invite Mike Tyson and Heather Graham over to become part of my wolfpack. “And we’re the three best friends that anyone could have!”

Coming soon to a Hallmark card near you: “(Shawntel) is an incredibly sexy woman. She’s sexy without even trying to be … which makes her even sexier.” Moving on … that date was great. She looked mah-velous and acted classy. She needs to learn when to stop telling boring stories about work though. As a member of the accounting / finance world, I KNOW boring work stories. There’s a better chance of turning on Michelle Bachmann reading words from the Communist Manifesto than turning on the Brad with stories of embalming leakage out of random orifices.

Race track part of the group date was kind of boring. Emily is the girl who walks into the room and makes all the guys who have been macking on you like it’s their job forget that you are even there. This is typically followed by comments such as “men are pigs.” It wasn’t stated here because everyone’s still drinking the Brad’s Koolaid.

Alli’s “just because someone comes in with the worst story means they get the most attention?” comment blew me away. That was cold. I didn’t see any “using” of the situation on Emily’s part.

Many single people have an “issue” that has pushed people away and we don’t want to risk sharing with someone we may care about. I feel like a part of that equation that doesn’t get enough attention is how people choose to take ownership of whatever that “issue” is. Embrace whatever it is and how it makes you who you are and makes you better in the future. Pasts have consequences, but they don’t own anybody. No matter what it is, if you believe in hope and forgiveness and compassion, the right person for you will be willing to work through that “issue” with you.

I felt bad for the Ashleys. The first impression rose curse strikes again! It’s almost as bad as the Sports Illustrated cover jinx (Aaron Rodgers this week; sorry Packers fans). The post – breakup walk of shame make-out between the Brad and the chosen Ashley seemed out of place. There’s a 5 second rule with food falling on the ground, there’s a 5 minute rule in leaving a college class if the prof doesn’t show up, and there’s at least a thirty minute rule between an emotional break up and your next make-out. This was followed by an uncomfortable zoom-in on GI Brad’s man parts. Gross.

Dr. Jamie was worth his fee this time. I’ll give him props after my constructive criticism from last week. I liked the strength through vulnerability statement. However, “you’re going to get to the DEEPEST place you’ve ever gotten to with a few of these women” seemed a little presumptuous and personal. Whoa there, doc.

Michelle went all dominatrix on us tonight with the door slam / keep mouth shut stuff. A conspiracy theorist may claim her to be a producer’s pick, with the Brad off-camera laughing his butt off that he’s gotta pretend she’s a real contender. Who knows, but I can’t deny that she’s incredibly entertaining. She puts the choo-choo in train-wreck.

Marissa and Lisa were the obvious elimination choices this week. (I personally would have thrown Alli in there, too.)

Off to Costa Rica and South Africa next ... Jungle fever to ensue.