Ashley S and the Brad put on a studio performance only a mother could love … if that mother was Hellen Keller. I think the “producer” dude wanted to have his Simon Cowell moment, but it was just too obviously horrendous to bash. In more promising news for this pair, physical affection comes very easy to them. They would be the couple that starts out with a graze of a hand against a leg or a little hand squeeze quickly escalating to a vertical game of Twister with each other being the game board. For those of you who have ever been that couple, or been around that couple, you know what I mean. It isn’t even overtly sexual, is absolutely impossible to take your eyes off of for observers, and yet is usually believed to be discrete by the participants (which it is definitely not).
Shawntel takes the shockingly passionate kiss trophy away from Britt this week. The self-proclaimed sexy bombshells often disappoint in the kissing department (Michelle), and then the wallflowers overwhelm. I guess it goes to show that passion and chemistry can dominate experience and expectations.
Michelle hopped on a bus to Crazytown, with a pit stop in Stalkersville. She’s delusional. She used her kid with the pouty “am I a bad mother” line. The show probably advises against it, but I wish the Brad (or any Bachelor, for that matter) would turn down the “can I steal you for a minute” line 99% of the time. If being polite is important, just say, “I’ll come find you when I’m done.”
I do generally like how the Brad is handling the situation thus far. (Although it is odd how quickly everyone adjusts to how he barely has time to dry his lips clean from one swath of saliva before encountering another.) Emily’s date started out extremely awkwardly. (“Tell me about you.” “I’m just like everybody. When I’m tired, I get grumpy.” … what? Dear, your locks and your legs are saving you right now.) She was about as open as Bernard Berrian (i.e. not at all). However, the Brad did not give up on her and gave her every chance to reveal something. She does seem to have a very kind and large heart, so I hope they give it a real chance.
Alli is pretty and everything, but somehow comes off as a little masculine to me. She’s got chiseled shoulders. I like sporty chicks, but keep the creatine in the cupboard.
Chantal and Brad have sexual chemistry. I see that. I understand why. I also think she’s trouble. She’s pretty tough and doesn’t get along with a lot of the girls.
I don’t understand Madison’s deal. I think she’s smart and deep and interesting, but her supposed reasons for leaving didn’t make any sense. If she thought she had potential to like him, and he thought he had potential to like her, they should have given themselves the opportunity, for one night, to stop thinking of themselves as co-workers, and instead just be co-people. (line courtesy of Ron Burgundy)
Britt hears all your small-arm taunts, guest blogger guy, and wants to challenge all comers to a chin-up-off. Yes, those arms are skinny, but she was a competitive gymnast, and I have to defend my girl-o-the-moment.
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