A Man's Perspective - Week 2

Mr. Bachelor Blogger has asked me to be a regular poster on The Bach Blog. I understand that comes with a lot of responsibility. Last season I was not prepared. I created the longest blog posting EVER, my computer crashed on me and I lost a (possibly) entertaining post for all. This year I promise to keep things short. (editor's note: my promises are like Brad's sincerity. You just can't trust us)

I want to give the women who read this blog a glimpse of dating from a man's perspective. The men who read this post will just nod their head and agree or perhaps disagree when discussing with their wife/girlfriend/date. So my first advice is to the wife/girlfriend/date, don't believe your man. They do agree with me, but they are trying to act sensitive in front of you. Do you think Brad really cared that Melissa was crying last night over his fight with Manscaper? No and he proved it by eliminating both of them. Don't be gullable like the perhaps 25-28 bachelorettes that will be eliminated this season. What you read here is the truth.

A few random thoughts before I give advice to some of the Bachelorettes.

- Do you really believe that Brad picks who gets to go on group dates and who gets one on one dates each week? And furthermore, do you really believe that Brad planned this date for you? Advice for all of the girls: Enjoy the dates, call them magical, but don't give credit to Brad for ANY of the planning.
- Brad was going to give Emily that "reception" rose anyway right? Brad doesn't strike me as a former contestant who hangs around with other Bachelor former contestants. Since they didn't show them talking to Brad afterwards, I doubt the interviews factored into Brad's decisions at all.
- Brad - On your first stint as the Bachelor, you made a decision that all of the men in the world understood, but none of the women understood. What you didn't anticipate was that every woman in America was going to hate you for it. They made comments for the last few years, "What's wrong with Deanna?" "Jenni is beautiful and sweet, do you think you are too good for her?". No - You decided that neither Jenni or Deanne was the woman that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with and so you did what was right for everyone involved. Now Jennie and Deanna are both married and happy, but no woman (even these two!) realize that it was the right decision. So you came back to The Bachelor to clear your name and give you a better shot at future dates. Congratulations. You accomplished your goal. Last night, I was watching the show and the woman next to me said, "there is something different about Brad. I really think he has changed from the last episode". Brad - Your work is done. Feel free to have fun making out with a bunch of attractive women over the next month, because that is considered okay, but please pick one of them at the end. You can then break up with them afterwards. As long as you give it a month, you will be fine. Perhaps even 2 weeks.
-I created nicknames for all of the girls during the first episode. Why? Because I didn't know all of the girls names at first, so it was easier to communicate and I enjoyed it. For those that watched bad reality TV on VH1, you will understand my favorite nickname of all. I think Jackie looks like "Buckwild" from the Flavor Flav show.

OK. On to my advice for the women.

Ashley H - A good conversation on a first date can go a long way. Contrary to popular belief, men also want to connect on a deeper level. However, getting your man to cry on the first date is not a good strategy. You either found a perpetual crying man which won't live up to your desires to have a strong man to take care of you, or you ruined the most important part of a succesful relationship: dating momentum. Too much of anything on the first date (Drama, bedroom activities, emotions) is not a good thing. Men are slow to commit and therefore need constant reminders that this relationship is worth continuing. Therefore, men want the next date to be better than the current date. This needs to go on for a while until the dumb man finally realizes, "I have a good thing going here and I better lock this girl up before someone else takes her". If Ashley Dentist's next date doesn't match the emotions that Brad felt on this date, he is going to be disappointed. I predict that Ashley will start to sense that Brad is not as excited about her. She will start to get jealous and will be eliminated. After the show she will blame herself believing that she was eliminated because of her jelaous actions when in reality, all she had to do was stick to fun topics and have fun on date #1.

Britt - Good move with the whole "I'm really nervous about kissing Brad. I'm not that kind of girl". The message was probably well received by the audience (mom, dad, grandma and grandpa) that it was intended for, but I'm not buying it. That entire date was like Halloween. Woman can "be like someone else" and dress how they want and do what they really want. Also - sidenote to Britt. You are a pretty girl, but I'm turned off by your skinny arms. Feel free to taste test more of your meals.

Emily - Her daughter is in cheerleading class? Emily is 24. How old is her daughter?!?! I'm hoping that we will get more information in future episodes.
I'm also hoping for a morning scene so I can see her without makeup. She is obviously attractive, but I wonder how attractive she really is.

Chantal - She passes three important Bachelor tests. Attractive? Check. Well spoken and confident? Check. Smart enough to let the other girls fight and go down in flames? Check. Promising future for Chantal.

Lisa - You have natural beauty and I have to respond to The Bachelor Blog creater and post that you are my #1 "want" girl...I suppose that isn't entirely true. Based on first impressions only, you are the girl I would likely pick if I was looking for a future wife to bring home to mom. I like to believe that I would pick you, but in Brad's situation I may pickk another girl to "forego my separate rooms and take to the honeymoon suite". Also - What happened to your "I'm not in Kansas anymore" red shoes? I never saw them after the opening limo scene.

Madison - Did your fangs change this episode? Your teeth seemed more pronounced in episode 1. Do you have implants? You seemed way too normal in week 2.

Marissa - Want some advice? You are an attractive girl, but in a tomboyish way. Some guys love that. The guys that don't love that are not right for you. Please do yourself a favor and don't try to dress up or put your hair up on elimination day. You can't compete with the models on their own turf, but you can dominate the dates with Brad which might give you a shot. You looked much better on the group date than on episode 1 or during the elimination ceremony in episode 2. Stay true to yourself. If you have to be the first girl to show up with jeans and your hair down for an elimination ceremony, do it!

Michelle - I found you very attractive (perhaps the most attractive girl?) when you walked out of the limo. I liked your confidence when you talked to Brad outside the limo. Everything since then has been a train wreck. I now despise you.

And now, a few parting words for our eliminated girls.

Melissa - Some women can handle the cameras and 15-20 other girls pursuing the guy you want to be with. Others can't. You clearly did not pass this test and made a fool out of yourself in the process. Also - what waitress job did you quit to go on the show? Was it an upscale restaurant that pays well or was it a minimum wage job at Applebees? I'm not going to be sympathetic until I have some more information.

Raichel - I'm torn about your Bachelor legacy. Are you a prop girl with your hair removal scene in episode 1? Are you a drama queen? Are you a good Christian girl? I didn't think you were ruthless early on in the show. It wasn't until Melissa kept pursuing you that you lost it. This was the female version of the male fight between friends at a bar. It starts off as something harmless and goes back and forth until security is ushering them out. Never had to happen, both look stupid and they ruin the night for everyone that wanted to stay at the current bar. The difference is that for Melissa and Raichel, there was no physical violence and instead there was a bunch of crying that went on for hours and hours and hours. The men fighting at the bar would have been laughing with eachother over more beers within an hour. At least Raichel and Melissa guaranteed themselves an invitation to the reunion episode.

All Women - Haven't had a date in a month? Sign up for the Bachelor! And if it doesn't work out, you may as well give up.

Keltie - Your last ditch effort is on the Bachelor? Seriously? Stop with the kicks for a second and take a look in the mirror or more importantly find some friends that will give it to you straight. You are annoying and worse yet, I don't even think this is your real personality. Perhaps an episode on VH1's "Tough Love" is what you need... or perhaps you need to continue to read "A Man's Perspective".

More to come in future weeks.