The Apologist

Brad’s back! and he’s ready to apologize, wholeheartedly, with all his heart even. Now for what I wanted to say all episode … STOP IT! You are not Tiger Woods. Why are you apologizing to these women? Will people please start dating for themselves! I’m serious. When one gets married, then they can stay in it for the kids, and the grandmas, and the house, and the pension and whatever else. At that point, you have used your big girl and big boy words with promises and commitment attached. Everyone (everyone) has the right, privilege, and duty to break up with someone they are dating if the promises aren’t going to happen or be fulfilled.

You don’t propose (or accept) because it is time, it would make your family happy, (s)he’d dump me otherwise, loneliness is the wicked alternative, or because that’s what you do in the final episode. If he didn’t feel the spark or chemistry or whatever with Jenni, that’s fine! He did both of them a favor in not moving forward with anything less than his whole self. She (and all) deserve someone who loves everything about them. If he sensed the DeAnger in DeAnna, best he got away from her venom early. No one will ever DESERVE a proposal, nor deserve to receive a yes.

That does not let all of us off the hook in our single days. Any girl any of us boys date deserves our honesty, our faithfulness (in such an agreed upon trial period), our call if we say we’re gonna call, our respect, and our sincere wishes for the perfect man for her at the end of our time together. Ladies, we should get an equivalent from you. Don’t lead us on, don’t treat us crappy until we eventually do the deed, don’t gradually sweep us into the friend zone, and don’t emasculate. If we want grown-up relationships, let’s break up like grown-ups too.

POOL: For those of you who would like to participate in the “pool,” please email, facebook, text, woof me your top 3 choices (ranked 1,2,3) prior to 7 PM Central next Monday (episode 2). For those who pick the same 3 in the same order, I will ask for a tie-breaking 4^th (5^th, etc.). It’s $5, but I don’t mind covering those I don’t run into.

OK, on to the show! J

The 30 (Y for survived, N for executed):

Alli (Y) was once dumped for her massive badonkadonk. Is it safe to say he wasn’t a brother? Can I say that? Ashley H (Y) is a spunky dentist who apparently brings drama to group dates. Phew, I thought we’d go without. Ashley S (Y, 1^st impression) seems like a sweetheart; I have always had a soft spot for nannies from the Confederacy. Britnee (N) gave a heartfelt exit confessional; remember that leaving a reality TV show doesn’t exactly close many dating doors before we shed too many tears for these folks. Britt (Y) is a food writer, mostly with alphabet soup, I hear. Chantal (Y) has daddy’s money and all the attitude it can buy; cash out, Brad. Cristy (N) is an attorney, so she’s got that going for her, which is nice. Emily … Emily!!! (Y) is hot. I hope she doesn’t turn into Holly Madison from the Girls Next Door, don’t think she will. Sorry about Ricky Bobby. J (N) was sexy, boo. Jackie (Y) is annoying; stop singing. Jill (N) can play volleyball with me. I hope Keltie (Y) Rockette kicks herself in the face. J Kimberly (Y) busted Brad’s balls; he survived the interrogation. Lacey (N) was a non-factor. Lauren (N) will have no lack of high school student admirers. Lindsay (Y) represents the Big Red; make Cornell proud. Lisa M (Y) snuck under the radar. Lisa P (N) is still smiling! Madison (Y) wore fangs, was obviously concerned that her looks wouldn’t take her into round 2. Marissa (Y) loves sports (which is cool as long as she doesn’t talk too much during them)! Meghan (Y) has gawd-awful shoes; I would have taken a stand against those monstrosities and everything they represent. Melissa (Y) is going for a Natasha Henstridge thing. Michelle (Y) is gonna be the House B*%$, which does not stand for bunny. Raichel (Y) manscapes. I doubt women fantasize about this as much as men claim to want to be OB-GYNs. Women gain a giant checkmark against man-dom on this one. Rebecca (N) better enjoy that kiss, last one! Renee (N) was a turnover machine. I’ve seen hockey players on a basketball court maintain possession longer than that! Sarah L (N) needed to bring out more of that theater side. Sarah P (Y) stays alive for 2 possible proposals. Shawntel (Y) can put me to sleep any time she wants. Stacey (Y) has tattoos in “private areas;” odds of 10 million people seeing at least one of them are 3:1.

Gonna be a fun season! Leave comments or questions to be addressed if you’d like.