Rainbow Shapoops and Cartoon Dreams

American Idol cares about the community, yes we do, AI cares about the community how bout you! The BACHELOR cares about the community, yes we do, the BACH cares about the community how bout YOU!!!

When we reach this point of the season, I always expect the contestants to "get it" after watching themselves. Nope, doesn't happen. They just keep on Sisyphusing their crazy rock up the hill.

I get weirded out by the "let's introduce everyone and have them awkwardly hope for a huge applause and then pretend not to be disappointed when it's just polite" scenario that we had here and also find at awards shows and family gatherings (what, that's just me? I swear I have an uncle who pays off the crowd).

Elizabeth came back with her game exposed. Jake got famous originally by singing about this very thing.

Rozlyn was living a nightmare (or should have been) in front of our very eyes. She entered the OJ zone of believing her lie. She even snapped at our vanilla host, who snapped right back. I'm not a big fan of the condescending "I have no ill will towards you, but I hope you find a way to be a better person" line. Just come out with the big juicy "afterbut." I like afterbuts and I cannot lie. You other brothers can't deny. Rozlyn, you have to learn the lesson that living your life relying on your looks can't last forever (... or so I hear).

Finally, I have no inside knowledge (or arguably, any knowledge whatsoever), but I think Jake ends up single out of this. His family is going to put the icksnay on Vienna, and his concerns about "lack of passion" are going to derail the Tenley train. I don't want to be a downer. I really don't. I hope I'm wrong. I also hope this rainbow droplet of a conclusion I'm leaving you with flushes successfully.