First Date

Anticipation becomes reality tonight. 25 blind dates going on. I'm sure preparation has included whitestripping some teeth, agonizing about opening lines, fake baking, utilizing gym memberships, dreaming about elegantly stepping out of the limo, and taking a razor to places that haven't seen one in a while (Seth Meyers: "Really?" Amy Poehler: "REALLY?" ... Me: Yeah, I guess I went there. Not saying I'm proud of it.)

I have some modest requests for the 26 main characters.

First, Jake. Enjoy your time in fantasy land! However, please take care of the 25 hearts that are temporarily yours. Pay attention to the way the girls interact with each other. You don't have to pick miss congeniality, but a general kindness and civility from a good partner will be noticeable.

Second, ladies. The great Herm Edwards (ex-NFL coach) once famously said: "You PLAY to WIN the GAME!" I encourage you to disregard that advice. Do not play to win the game. OK, maybe a couple of you can play to win the game and create some drama for our entertainment. The rest of you should be true to who you are and only want to "win" if you think the two of you are the best match. Finally, resist the urge to rush it. First impression rose girls rarely last until the end. Your exclusive relationship is still many weeks away.

P.S. I hear Ed's gonna be on the premiere. Not gonna lie, kinda looking forward to making fun of him.