Today, as a Viking Nation, we must begin our healing process. It's not really that different than what 24 or 25 of the ladies in Bachelor nation go through every season. In tonight's case, it was a surprising 4!
The Kubler-Ross model tells us that there are five stages of grief. These include:
1) Denial (not just a river in Africa).
2) Anger (Chicken Tetrazzini?! ... and in case you didn't catch it the first time ... Chicken Tetrazzini)
3) Bargaining (to a poker player this means saying "one time!" ... 100 times)
4) Depression (Don't be down! At this advanced stage of your life, you won't have to go through a break-up with anybody better!)
5) Acceptance ("I know I'm destined to be a victim for the rest of my cursed life, and I accept that." Umm, maybe that's a little bit of 2, sprinkled with some 4, but you get the picture.)
As a Vikings fan, you may go through this process by 1) hoping for an extra 5 seconds to look for a flag on the last play and avoid talk radio / newspapers for a day; 2) snap at the quasi-sports fan who tries to tell you it's just a game; 3) tell yourself that Brett will come back next year, Adrian will buy Stick Em, Winfield will impersonate Darelle Revis once again, and playoff magic is only a calendar turn away; 4) realize that training camp is like 6 months away and you live in a frozen tundra; 5) understand that you are the Chicago Cubs of football.
Unfortunately, the relationship break-up process doesn't have as nice of a concrete finish. With the Vikings, you prepared yourself for the final play by "don't fumble!," "catch it!," "tackle him!" stomach knots all day long. You also knew that Sunday evening would bring either a celebration or season closure.
The relationship game takes a lot more signal reading, face-saving, flip-flopping, excuse finding, lesson learning, answer searching, second chance wondering, theory busting confusion. The Bachelor even adds in a competitive factor that takes away the "bad timing" excuse and adds in the "it's not you, it's her" brutal honesty (sorry Ashleigh, he opted for Vienna).
I would argue that why many of us like watching this show is due to the fact that watching a break-up occur is fascinating. There's a rawness to that moment that many can't hide no matter how many cameras they know are focused on them.
As for tonight's episode, Jake was a cold-blooded dream killer.
Ashleigh went with the head sideways flirt move and the hands pretty much in his pockets play. If you pull out those big guns and he's not yours, well, there's not a whole lot more you can do. Not feeling it means not feeling it.
Ella didn't find her fella. I shouldn't jest about this, but I couldn't help but giggle when Jake asked her about her priorities, she said her son was #1, he said he wouldn't want to keep her from him, and she throws the little guy under the bus by saying if there's ANY chance that it's gonna work he's gotta let her stay.
Kathryn got serious and borderline accusatory with Jake before the chance for them to have fun together NOT serious. I don't think dishonesty or holding back was the answer, but it just didn't progress the way it usually does.
Jessie never had the opportunity to show us much. Too bad, she seemed cool.
Ali was a little better behaved than she was last week. It seems like Jake and her are in a relationship when they are together. I think there'd be some fireworks if Jake ends up with her, but maybe it'd be good for Mr. Vanilla to take on some butterscotch.
Corrie survives for another week. She has a very expressive face. I don't know what that means.
The Kubler-Ross model tells us that there are five stages of grief. These include:
1) Denial (not just a river in Africa).
2) Anger (Chicken Tetrazzini?! ... and in case you didn't catch it the first time ... Chicken Tetrazzini)
3) Bargaining (to a poker player this means saying "one time!" ... 100 times)
4) Depression (Don't be down! At this advanced stage of your life, you won't have to go through a break-up with anybody better!)
5) Acceptance ("I know I'm destined to be a victim for the rest of my cursed life, and I accept that." Umm, maybe that's a little bit of 2, sprinkled with some 4, but you get the picture.)
As a Vikings fan, you may go through this process by 1) hoping for an extra 5 seconds to look for a flag on the last play and avoid talk radio / newspapers for a day; 2) snap at the quasi-sports fan who tries to tell you it's just a game; 3) tell yourself that Brett will come back next year, Adrian will buy Stick Em, Winfield will impersonate Darelle Revis once again, and playoff magic is only a calendar turn away; 4) realize that training camp is like 6 months away and you live in a frozen tundra; 5) understand that you are the Chicago Cubs of football.
Unfortunately, the relationship break-up process doesn't have as nice of a concrete finish. With the Vikings, you prepared yourself for the final play by "don't fumble!," "catch it!," "tackle him!" stomach knots all day long. You also knew that Sunday evening would bring either a celebration or season closure.
The relationship game takes a lot more signal reading, face-saving, flip-flopping, excuse finding, lesson learning, answer searching, second chance wondering, theory busting confusion. The Bachelor even adds in a competitive factor that takes away the "bad timing" excuse and adds in the "it's not you, it's her" brutal honesty (sorry Ashleigh, he opted for Vienna).
I would argue that why many of us like watching this show is due to the fact that watching a break-up occur is fascinating. There's a rawness to that moment that many can't hide no matter how many cameras they know are focused on them.
As for tonight's episode, Jake was a cold-blooded dream killer.
Ashleigh went with the head sideways flirt move and the hands pretty much in his pockets play. If you pull out those big guns and he's not yours, well, there's not a whole lot more you can do. Not feeling it means not feeling it.
Ella didn't find her fella. I shouldn't jest about this, but I couldn't help but giggle when Jake asked her about her priorities, she said her son was #1, he said he wouldn't want to keep her from him, and she throws the little guy under the bus by saying if there's ANY chance that it's gonna work he's gotta let her stay.
Kathryn got serious and borderline accusatory with Jake before the chance for them to have fun together NOT serious. I don't think dishonesty or holding back was the answer, but it just didn't progress the way it usually does.
Jessie never had the opportunity to show us much. Too bad, she seemed cool.
Ali was a little better behaved than she was last week. It seems like Jake and her are in a relationship when they are together. I think there'd be some fireworks if Jake ends up with her, but maybe it'd be good for Mr. Vanilla to take on some butterscotch.
Corrie survives for another week. She has a very expressive face. I don't know what that means.
Gia's awesome. I'd use a better word, but boys aren't good with words. I played a game of Taboo the other weekend and the dudes were absolutely dominated by the chicks. I know our gender is known to be slower developers, but shouldn't we catch up by now? I'm trying to get by in life with points and grunts.
Vienna. I'm not ashamed to admit it, I let out a little Paul Allen NO! when you received your rose.
Tenley - Becoming America's Sweetheart. This young lady must read the same books my sister does because they use the same phrase-ology sometimes. However, my sister also brings the shock and awe when she deems it appropriate. (I don't think she reads me much, so let's just call this a prod / test). :)
Apologize to the bored party - this one got long. (That's what she said.)
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