Allow myself....to introduce....myself....

In order to make this blogging experience more pleasurable for everyone, via additional posts, Jonah has agreed to let me post something periodically. Full frontal disclosure: my bachelor knowledge is limited to the two episodes of this season. I have not watched the show in the past; I tuned in to this season's series in an effort to spend more time with Jonah. I like it when he holds me in his big, strong arms.


Come fly with me, some first impressions:


The dismissals: I was happy to see Christina leave for two reasons. First, the only thing lower than her self esteem is interest rates. I understand that everyone gets nervous when you're trying to make a good first impression, but I thought her desperation for attention overshadowed her interest in finding a connection with Jake. Secondly, her stunt with the going-away-gifts in the first episode was rude and unnecessary. It accomplished little and brought nothing positive to the show.


Ashley: I can't remember a whole lot about you, and I suspect you failed to make a lasting impression on Jake as well. While I like that you didn't create drama just to get noticed, its unfortunate, giving your limited time on the show, that more of your personality wasn't able to shine through to Jake. Unfortunately, this game requires you to make a lasting impression, and I fear that our bachelor is unable to take a step back and assess the personalities of the quiet ones.


Rozlyn: The only thing worse than you losing your focus and sleeping with some staffer was ABC's drooling over the fact that you lost your focus and slept with some other staffer. It almost appeared that Chris was going to start laughing when he told Jake, which demonstrates just how serious ABC felt this issue was: it was so serious that they have spent a couple of weeks plugging this "deplorable act" on their website. As Ari Gold once said, you might be a whore, Rozlyn, but you're not a pimp--that's ABC.


While Rozlyn only has herself to blame for going home early, I'm not sure why everyone on the show feigns such shock and dismay. I like this show. But I am also able to see that they are trying to create "love" in a test tube. And sometimes your test tube efforts have unintended consequences.



The soon to be dismissed (I hope): I hope this week was the penultimate one for Michelle. "Diamonds, diamonds, diamonds, diamonds..." I was waiting to hear her thank all the 12 year old boys in Sierra Leone who lost an arm for that necklace, but she must have just forgot... Also, she reminds me of this:


Elizabeth: Nice note. Did your 16 year old sister stay up all night to write that note or did she have it prepared before for you left? Kissing schmissing. I think you are more self absorbed than being "true" to any values or feelings. Weird that when you got that alone time you almost reneged on your own demands by going in for that kiss...


Other Musings: Group date #2: Amusement parks are fun. Unless they're not.


Ladies: Try asking Jake some questions about his past instead of talking about all of your failed relationships from yesteryear. There is no reason to volunteer all skeletons you carry with you on dates 1-10. This means you Vienna.


Ali. A quicker than usual pre-flight routine by my pilot usually gives me cause for concern; it does not make my loins burn. I tell all my pilots to take their time in inspecting the plane before take-off. That being said, the producers could have given you a heads up about that motorcycle ride when you stepped out in that yellow canary dress. Maybe the producers were too busy to think about that though...

Jonah told me no F words. F that.